humandb 0.1.0

The world's first human-powered analytical database.

HumanDB

The world's first human-powered analytical database.

Quick Start

pip install humandb

import humandb

humandb.query("SELECT COUNT(*) FROM orders")
# 🔄 Dave is squinting at this...
# 📞 Contacting Dave for this query... waiting for his reply
# 🔊 dave_answer_a1b2c3d4.mp3 received
# "Okay so I went through the orders table, there's like 1.8 million rows.
#  One of them is from 1987 which seems wrong but I didn't want to bring it up."

Features

• In-brain columnar storage — data lives in Dave's hippocampus. No disk I/O. Occasional déjà vu.
• Post-it indexing — sub-optimal but colorful.
• OLAH processing — OnLine Analytical Humans. Industry-standard since 2003.
• Eventual consistency — Dave will get back to you. He's about 80% sure.
• Sub-hour query latency — or 3 days if it's quarter-end.
• Emotional consistency guarantees — Dave is always mildly exhausted.

Requirements

• Python 3.10+
• Speaker/headphones (recommended — Dave has a voice)
• Patience

How It Works

humandb.query() sends your SQL to Dave (a tired senior data analyst), who processes it by hand using spreadsheets, Post-its, and gut instinct. Results are returned verbally as an MP3 and printed to your console.

Dave's accuracy is approximately 80%. He's doing his best.

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Built with ❤️ and mild existential dread by MotherDuck.

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